Toilet Paper

So today toilet paper is on my mind! Don't judge!!! Toilet paper is so freaking expensive. I hate it. It's literally throwing money down the drain but it is the most necessary thing on the planed. Followed by deodorant, soap, shampoo, mouthwash, toothpaste, toothbrush and floss!

Back to the toilet paper.... Holy crap there are so many to choose from. And seriously who is going to stand there and figure out what  wipe works best for your families butt wiping needs. Now I pride myself on being a very good shopper. I have mastered the art of matching coupons up with sale adds to get the most savings. Toilet paper on the other hand wins almost every time. Those $1 off coupons don't really bring the price down as much as I would like them to. I'm not loyal to a particular brand. I am loyal to the coupon that I clip. Now don't think for one minute that I buy the cheap stuff that tears during a wipe. The kind that leaves you on the verge of vomiting when you realize you may need to dip your hand in bleach because the TP didn't hold up!! No generic toilet paper for the Glover's.
I generally buy Cottonelle! It is on sale more than the rest and there are always coupons. I also order it from Amazon quite a bit depending on the price. The prices always change on there. I love the convenience of it just showing up on my door a case at a time. I also like not having to haul it around the store hogging up my cart.


There are so many kinds of TP to choose from. Thank God TP has come along way from when I was a kid. I just didn't trust my TP growing up. So because I have a TP trust issues I have a habit of taking more than necessary. It is because of this habit I can not buy Cottonelle Tripe. There are only 4 rolls in the pack but 4 rolls are like getting 12 rolls. So technically you need less when you wipe. The problem with those packs if I buy them is that I keep rolling the TP off the roll like its 1987 and before I know it I have 4x's the amount of TP I need. Based on how fast we go through it I think the same is happening for the entire family. This kind of TP is so thick your toilet may not be able to handle the TP load its about to get! No kidding!  Plus its expensive too. Its like paying for 24 rolls.

We like the Cottonelle Ultra. It's soft, thick and absorbent. It's also ultra cushiony and ultra luxurious, for an ultra clean and fresh feeling. That's what they claim. My butt kinda agrees. It says that 12 rolls are like 24. Unless you are in my house then 12 rolls are like 12. I prefer this over the 4 rolls are like 12 kind.

We also use Clean care Cottonelle. It claims to be stronger and has extra-absorbent ripples. So does that mean it's stronger than the ultra?? And are those ripples like the ripples in the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser? Ripples.. Who knew they could help produce a more absorbent wipe! Because 4 rolls are like 8 we prefer this over the tripple care.
I wonder if any of them honestly clean any differently? Or if its just certain words in the advertising and packaging that catch peoples attention and  makes them want to buy a particular TP. The word clean is used over and over so I guess that's what really matters in the end (haha)



Honorable mention goes out to the Cottonelle gentle care with aloe & Vitamin E. Talk about pampering your butt! This is a nice option if you may be experiencing diarrhea (I guess.) Its the BEST ever according to the package. Ive never tried it but that cute puppy might just convince me to give it a try! The website says... Take good care of your behind with the soothing, gentle clean of Cottonelle Gentle Care. This Toilet Paper is enriched with aloe and vitamin E.

Am I the only one that hates spending $$ on toilet paper? I once saw a disgusting family on TV that used rags to wipe. NOT KIDDING! Then they had a plastic bag they threw them into until wash day. I swear I am not making that up. It was on TLC Extreme Cheapskates. Never in a million years. They probably save $10,000 a year on TP but no thank you. I would pole dance for TP before I use one of Todd's old shirts! I also hate when I go somewhere and the toilet paper is.... a little thin. Like school toilet paper or restaurant toilet paper. Ive considered bring my own roll with me to keep in my purse. NO I am not pooing up the place at Red Robin. Ladies need TP when they pee!

And lastly.... My favorite thing ever is the wipes! There is no way you will have a dirty butt if you use these things. Plus with summer coming on you might be able to avoid swamp Ass if you make sure your crack is completely clean EVERY time you have a code brown! I'm not joking. Just like the commercial says....a clean bum is a happy bum! Happy wiping!

Long, boring, exhausting week......

What a long week and I did not even work last Friday and I didn't work this Tuesday. I've been helping with some of the AIMS test prep. 2 straight days last week of trying to match the alphabetical labels that were sorted by grade to the alphabetical spreadsheet that was sorted by teacher. Point.... make sure every student had a label for their AIMS test and if they did not have a label I had to make a list for them. I had such a headache and felt nauseous because my eyes were scrolling up and down, up and down and up and down for 2 days! That was the reason behind staying home Friday. On top of that Ive have a heck of a time and have not been feeling well or having energy lately. Yesterday I went for blood work so we shall see what is going on there in the next day or so.

The past week has a couple trips to the gym. Not seeing any results on the scale but I know/hope that soon I will. My body is just not responding to diet and exercise like it was a couple years ago, It BLOWS!! I have Hypothyroidism so maybe my blood work will shed some light on that problem too.





Tyler had a friend over last Friday night, Todd played poker and I watched the movie 12 Years a Slave. 30 minutes into it and I was so disturbed. I knew its going to be a good movie but I struggle when watching people be beat and tortured. I also hate the N word! I've heard it about 50 x's. I don't know how anyone could treat other humans the way slaves were treated. I would have never survived during that time period. My mouth is to big.

I worked on cleaning my house last weekend. I just cant take the dust. I just sit here and look at all the dust everywhere..... Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine its all gone! I know when I open my eyes it will still be there. And yes, there it is. Just as it was when I closed my eyes! I did manage to get the whole house done. That felt good!!!

Saturday night we went to a friends house for her birthday. Her husband pulled off a surprise wine tasting party for her. Tyler was home alone so we could not stay over. That meant no libations for us! She lives over 50 miles from us so a cab was not an option either! It was still good to see everyone! I love Kim. Ive know her for 30 years! The is the best!

 
That is about it! The week seemed long, I have for the most part felt exhausted due to what ever the heck is going on with me right now and with the exception of Saturday night..... BORING!

Boobies, Bingo, Massage and Condoms.... oh my!

Tyler was at a friends house for most of the weekend. His best friend moved about 45 minutes away a couple years ago so when they have a sleepover it lasts for the weekend. The weekend was pretty relaxed! Friday after school I went to the gym then watched The Wolf of Wall Street. Holy boobies and blow Batman! Lots of sex and drugs! Todd played poker at the casino so he missed all the boobies!  I had to look at them all by myself. It was a good movie. So glad Tyler was not in the house when it was on.
Saturday Todd and I got up to a quiet house. Its always strange to me when Tyler is gone. Usually kids are at our house. We went to the gym and we both did a kick butt workout then came home and watched American Hustle. It was good too. SCORE for movie rentals!

Movie Rental Recommendations

1.) The Wolf of Wall Street

2.) Gravity

3.) American Hustle

Later we went out to dinner then we went to bingo! YES, bingo! I LOVE ECLIPSE BINGO!!! The only problem is that it starts at 11pm! I'm old so it hard to stay awake to go out that late. Once I get there I am fine. As a matter of fact I am more than fine. It is so much fun I highly recommend that if you have not played you try it. There is a DJ that starts at 10:15pm. He plays the entire night. So if you don't like loud music, stay home. When bingo starts, the regular lights go off and black lights and some flashy lights come on. So if you cant see in the almost dark and flashy lights bug you you might want to skip eclipse bingo. The cool thing is that the bingo cards glow in the dark because they are florescent. People are dancing around the bingo hall and at dancing on the dance floor during the intermission. There is a bar set up and that enhances the experience. The more people drink, the more they call bingo when they don't actually have one or they miss their bingo all together. Did we in at bingo??? NO! But we did win enough on the slots and in the poker room to cover everything we spent that night in the casino. Even won enough to cover the cost of dinner and late night Burritos from Filibertos.

Bingo Tips....

1.) Fill a water bottle with Vodka and "spike" the free soda you get in the bingo hall. Big money saver.
2.) Load a flashlight app on your phone and use it to see your bingo cards if you have trouble seeing.
3.) If you have a whistle, bring it. Its so hard to hear anyone yell bingo so the whistle everyone know you got yourself a big ol bingo! Or so you hope!
4.) Bring any glow in the dark or blinky light stuff you have. It enhances the eclipse bingo experience. Makes you feel super cool.
5.) Get there early to find a good spot. Next to the dance floor is always entertaining during intermission.Plus you can hang with your friends, dance, listen to the DJ, enjoy your "water bottle" and have fun with your glowing flashy things!
6.) Get a room if you can. Then you don't have to worry about the whole DD thing. If you screw up and get yourself into trouble check out www.toddgloverlaw.com for help. He's pretty good at what he does.

 

Sunday was a super awesome lazy day. Slept until 11am because it was almost 3:30am when we got home from the casino. I went and picked up Tyler then later went for a 2 hour massage! I wore a flower in my hair just like the girl in the picture! After the massage I ran home to grab my coupons before I went grocery shopping. Thank God I did because my shirt was on backwards and inside out! How the heck could I have not noticed that. I walked out of my massage and stood at the front desk waiting to check out with that nonsense. Those people must have thought I was crazy. I am sure they made fun of me when I left. I would have made fun of them for sure!
Now here comes a funny and super embarrassing TMI moment. You have been warned..... I took Tyler to Walmart later to buy a game. I needed a couple things as well.....

Things I Needed from Walmart
1.) A box of Sally Hansen wax strips because I wax my own lady beard to save money.
2.) Duracell batteries for the fire alarms. I swear to god!!!!!!!!
3.) Condoms.

This is what my purchase looked like

So I walked up to the counter in the jewelry department to pay. Hell no I was not getting line with everyone else to buy that combination of crap. I laid everything on the counter and just looked at the girl. Wax strips, batteries and condoms! Great. I cant imagine what she thought I may be waxing or using those batteries for. Throw the condoms in the mix and its a party. I said to her "Just ring it up and triple bag it please." She didn't say a word. I just stood there thinking to myself could you please hurry up before my kid passes the jewelry area or someone comes up to buy some Walmart jewelry! Or a student seem the loot. She told me my total and I said..... "I have a coupon." YEP! I laid that $1 off condoms coupon on the counter and as soon as she scanned it I swiped the card and left. I might have ran. I cant remember. 

(Tyler was in the game area and was going to meet me in the front when he was done.... for those of you wondering why I would but condoms when I had my 14 year old with me.) 

So there you have it. We watched some good movies, worked out, played some bingo and Todd has relations with a non bearded lady!