Boobies, Bingo, Massage and Condoms.... oh my!

Tyler was at a friends house for most of the weekend. His best friend moved about 45 minutes away a couple years ago so when they have a sleepover it lasts for the weekend. The weekend was pretty relaxed! Friday after school I went to the gym then watched The Wolf of Wall Street. Holy boobies and blow Batman! Lots of sex and drugs! Todd played poker at the casino so he missed all the boobies!  I had to look at them all by myself. It was a good movie. So glad Tyler was not in the house when it was on.
Saturday Todd and I got up to a quiet house. Its always strange to me when Tyler is gone. Usually kids are at our house. We went to the gym and we both did a kick butt workout then came home and watched American Hustle. It was good too. SCORE for movie rentals!

Movie Rental Recommendations

1.) The Wolf of Wall Street

2.) Gravity

3.) American Hustle

Later we went out to dinner then we went to bingo! YES, bingo! I LOVE ECLIPSE BINGO!!! The only problem is that it starts at 11pm! I'm old so it hard to stay awake to go out that late. Once I get there I am fine. As a matter of fact I am more than fine. It is so much fun I highly recommend that if you have not played you try it. There is a DJ that starts at 10:15pm. He plays the entire night. So if you don't like loud music, stay home. When bingo starts, the regular lights go off and black lights and some flashy lights come on. So if you cant see in the almost dark and flashy lights bug you you might want to skip eclipse bingo. The cool thing is that the bingo cards glow in the dark because they are florescent. People are dancing around the bingo hall and at dancing on the dance floor during the intermission. There is a bar set up and that enhances the experience. The more people drink, the more they call bingo when they don't actually have one or they miss their bingo all together. Did we in at bingo??? NO! But we did win enough on the slots and in the poker room to cover everything we spent that night in the casino. Even won enough to cover the cost of dinner and late night Burritos from Filibertos.

Bingo Tips....

1.) Fill a water bottle with Vodka and "spike" the free soda you get in the bingo hall. Big money saver.
2.) Load a flashlight app on your phone and use it to see your bingo cards if you have trouble seeing.
3.) If you have a whistle, bring it. Its so hard to hear anyone yell bingo so the whistle everyone know you got yourself a big ol bingo! Or so you hope!
4.) Bring any glow in the dark or blinky light stuff you have. It enhances the eclipse bingo experience. Makes you feel super cool.
5.) Get there early to find a good spot. Next to the dance floor is always entertaining during intermission.Plus you can hang with your friends, dance, listen to the DJ, enjoy your "water bottle" and have fun with your glowing flashy things!
6.) Get a room if you can. Then you don't have to worry about the whole DD thing. If you screw up and get yourself into trouble check out www.toddgloverlaw.com for help. He's pretty good at what he does.

 

Sunday was a super awesome lazy day. Slept until 11am because it was almost 3:30am when we got home from the casino. I went and picked up Tyler then later went for a 2 hour massage! I wore a flower in my hair just like the girl in the picture! After the massage I ran home to grab my coupons before I went grocery shopping. Thank God I did because my shirt was on backwards and inside out! How the heck could I have not noticed that. I walked out of my massage and stood at the front desk waiting to check out with that nonsense. Those people must have thought I was crazy. I am sure they made fun of me when I left. I would have made fun of them for sure!
Now here comes a funny and super embarrassing TMI moment. You have been warned..... I took Tyler to Walmart later to buy a game. I needed a couple things as well.....

Things I Needed from Walmart
1.) A box of Sally Hansen wax strips because I wax my own lady beard to save money.
2.) Duracell batteries for the fire alarms. I swear to god!!!!!!!!
3.) Condoms.

This is what my purchase looked like

So I walked up to the counter in the jewelry department to pay. Hell no I was not getting line with everyone else to buy that combination of crap. I laid everything on the counter and just looked at the girl. Wax strips, batteries and condoms! Great. I cant imagine what she thought I may be waxing or using those batteries for. Throw the condoms in the mix and its a party. I said to her "Just ring it up and triple bag it please." She didn't say a word. I just stood there thinking to myself could you please hurry up before my kid passes the jewelry area or someone comes up to buy some Walmart jewelry! Or a student seem the loot. She told me my total and I said..... "I have a coupon." YEP! I laid that $1 off condoms coupon on the counter and as soon as she scanned it I swiped the card and left. I might have ran. I cant remember. 

(Tyler was in the game area and was going to meet me in the front when he was done.... for those of you wondering why I would but condoms when I had my 14 year old with me.) 

So there you have it. We watched some good movies, worked out, played some bingo and Todd has relations with a non bearded lady!